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Psychological work
Conflict prevention
12 Follow the rules:
Give partner "to let off steam." If your partner irritated and aggressive (filled with negative emotions), agree with it difficult and often impossible, so try to help him to reduce internal stress. During his "explosion" is recommended to behave: calm, confident, but not arrogant.
Bring down the aggression unexpected techniques. For example, ask an unexpected question about something else, but significant for the partner business or confidentially ask the interlocutor conflicting advice.
Do not let the negative partner assessments, and talk about their feelings. Do not say: "You are deceiving me," sounds better: "I feel cheated."
Ask formulate the desired end result and the problem as a chain of obstacles. Problem - this is what must be addressed, and treatment of human beings - is the background conditions in which to make the decision. In the case of unrecognized relationship to the customer or partner, you may not want to solve the problem. Can not do that! Do not let your emotions control you. Together with someone to diagnose the problem and focus on it. In other words, separate the problem from the person.
Suggest partner express their views on the resolution of the problem and its solutions. Do not look for the guilty and explain the situation. Look for a way out of it. Do not stop at the first suitable embodiment, there must be found a lot to choose the best (alternative). In this case, always remember what to look for mutually acceptable solutions should be, ie You and a partner in dialogue must be mutually satisfied with the final result.
Give partner "save face." Do not allow yourself to blossom and respond to aggression with aggression and hurt dignity partner: he will not forgive, even if he surrenders to pressure. Do not touch his person, and let the evaluation only actions and deeds, for example, you can say, "You have twice failed to fulfill its promise," but we can not say, "You - optional man."
Reflect as "echo" the meaning of statements and claims. Use of phrases such as "Do I understand you?" "You mean ..." eliminates misunderstandings and demonstrates attention to the caller that it reduces aggression.
Do not be afraid to apologize if you feel guilty. To apologies capable confident and mature people, so it disarms partner and gives him the respect and confidence in you.
Nothing to prove. In conflict and no one has ever been able to prove anything, because negative emotions block the ability to understand and agree with the "enemy." People at this point does not think it rational part is disabled, and therefore there is no need to try to prove anything. It's a waste of time and a futile exercise
Shut up first. If it so happened that you did not notice, as "deeply involved" in the conflict (80% according to the observations of conflict arises in addition to the wishes of their members), try to do the only thing - shut up. Not from the interlocutor, the "enemy" require "Shut up", "Stop", and from themselves. However, your silence should not be offensive to a partner and should not be colored by malice and challenge.
Not characterize the state of the opponent. Avoid verbal statement of the negative emotional state of the partner: "What are you angry, nervous?", "Why are you mad?" - Such "dampers" only strengthen and reinforce conflict.
Try not to destroy the relationship, regardless of the result of resolving the contradiction. Show your respect and good for your partner and tell agreement on the difficulties encountered. If you save the relationship and give pratneru "save face", you will not lose it as a future partner.
11 taboo in a conflict situation. Do not:
- Critically evaluate partner.
- Ascribe it to the lowland or bad intentions.
- Demonstrate signs of their superiority.
- Attributing blame and responsibility only partner.
- Ignore the interests of the communication partner.
- See everything only from its position.
- Reduce services partner and its contribution to the common cause.
- Exaggerate their achievements.
- Irritated, shouting and attack.
- Touch the "hot spots" and vulnerabilities partner.
- Strikes partner a lot of claims.
In a conflict situation, one should always remember the "golden rule" morality, civility and respect for tact.
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