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Psychological work
Recommendations to parents of teenagers informals
What not to do in any case?

Do not panic and do not be afraid.

     Youth subcultures existed in one form or another always. And not just to annoy adults. Informal associations emphasize again, we need young people to communicate, self-expression, development.

Not prohibit.

     Forbidden fruit is known to be sweet. With informals always tried to fight, but the result was zero or reversed. Recall the 60th - 80th of the last century with their persecution of hippies, punks, metallers ... These subcultures and to this day have not gone away, and their "oppressors" and "prohibitive" long lost credibility.

Do not ignore.

     It may be even worse prohibitions. Let teenager knows that you are aware of his hobbies: something you are comfortable with something - no. Otherwise teenager may think that he is indifferent to you, that you no longer love him.

Do not insult teen idols.

     At this age, even the phrase "Turn that crap (cacophony rychalku)" may cause offense, and as a consequence - the explosion of aggression. Yes, a teenager can not perceive it as your desire to take a break from music screen, and contempt of itself as a desire to insult and offend. Better to ask, what is this group, and only then to say that you are tired and ask to make a sound so loud.

Do not blame all the deadly sins.

     Statements from the series "All informals - criminals and alcoholics" is not only insulting, but also wrong. Addictions and crime do not depend on your favorite music and appearance.

Do not underestimate the importance of teen culture:

     supposedly it you will soon pass, pererastesh, gone mad. Even if this is true, the teenager still does not believe you and will insist that "it - forever." Incidentally, some teenage hobbies in the future may develop into a profession. After all, who knows, maybe that your child will become in the future PR - agent musical group or sports team coach. Even if not, many in adulthood do not throw youthful enthusiasm: listen to your favorite music, cheer for your favorite team.

By taking these simple rules, you can prevent many conflicts.


Can and should be

Gather information.

     Learn about the subculture to which he joined a teenager, something new. And share this information with him. And the best - Get joint web surfing: a look in the internet together. It brought together by you, and along with many accumulated dispel fears. If you still shiver, look comic series "Father's Daughter." There is an athlete-football player, and even GOTKA fashionista! They are all different, with complex characters, but they - together with the complement each other perfectly.

Discuss all their concerns and doubts with a teenager.

     Use with the "I-messages". For example: "I ​​am worried that ..." or "I care about ..." rather than "You're behaving badly", "You're wrong." Do not be afraid to ask the teenager if something do not know or understand from his explanation. This conversation is not only the ability to gently ask questions, but also the ability to listen without interrupting.

Be attentive and responsive.

     It is important to remember that the teenager is not less scared, hurt or offensive than the baby. And your attention, understanding and love at this difficult time of life he needed even more than when he was young.

Use teen craze for his good.

     He is interested in extreme sports? Brilliant! This is an occasion to talk about a healthy lifestyle. And now such a conversation is not likely to be perceived as boring and empty notation shaking of the air. Loves rock, especially English-speaking? Too perfect! Almost any teenager gladly translate and learn the lyrics to sing at a concert then favorite band. Business with pleasure and entertain, and English tighten.

Choose attributes together with a teenager with symbolism and the title of his favorite band

     (or sports team) - it will be an act of recognition of its right to self-determination and self-expression. And when he comes home, ask him to tell you about their favorite musicians or athletes. Teen appreciate your attention, and you finally learn why "Aria" taxis "and" the "Zenith" - the champion! ".

Talk about than themselves addicted to youth:

     that you show that you understand his passion for music or sport. Even if the teen and call it all "mothballs", he will realize that you have with him more in common than differences.

I enjoy them for what they are
It is important to remember that there are no "dangerous" or "safe" hobbies. All depends on the individual: one that is useful, it may be more harmful. The main thing - to communicate with their children, be aware of their interests. And often speak (or better - in fact, prove) that you love them. Love and accept them any - with all of their interests and views.
And parents, in turn, must verify the information about the subculture that they are presented newspapers, television and the Internet. Then, in terms of mutual responsibility, myths gradually disappear, and will be one less reason for disputes between fathers and children.
As one 17-year-old girl, in their time, and a goth and emo "One day will come the realization that all of this is no longer necessary. Parents must talk to the child about his hobbies. That he did not feel lonely. Girl, for example, can dress in goth or emo style, not because it reflects her inner world, and just because it is fashionable and stylish. "

Our parental assistance and is to a teenager uttered these wise words as soon as possible ... Apparently, something similar should recover as chickenpox in childhood. And only on our knowledge, wisdom and tact depends leave this' chicken pox "marks for life, and how deep are these traces.




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